The Wringer
Although I am not ready to share details specifically about what I am currently dealing with in my life I would definitely like to share parts of my experience because I find it fascinating and super helpful.
Looking back and connecting dots…
About a month before ______ happened, I was feeling super stuck and my logical mind could not understand why. It didn't make sense. I was in such a good place in every area of my life. Everything was flowing so well and felt so right and I felt so accomplished - I felt like I had finally reached this place I had been searching for the last two-three years.
I had just had a breakthrough Workshop. It was deep, it was incredible, it felt like the pinnacle of what I am here to do and who I am here to serve. I was on cloud nine. Finally ready to step into my power, to up my worth and my value. I was so excited! I had all these juicy offerings lined up for the summer including making one of my dreams come to fruition a Full Day Retreat! And yet… I couldn't move forward. I was blocked. I wasn't having any inspiration for creating content, I wasn't feeling my normal pull to do all the things I needed to do… It literally felt like my feet were stuck in cement.
My mind knew what I wanted and what I needed and I couldn't understand why I wasn't able to feel excited and lit up and have all the energy to do all the amazing things.. I had made commitments, I had put out announcements… why the heck was I blocked??… It wasn't making sense, this is what I wanted, what I've been working towards! I'm ready!
I was so frustrated, I thought maybe there was some self worth stuff holding me back because I had decided to raise my prices… Maybe some limiting beliefs.. What was it?
And then…3 weeks later I was hit with life altering news.. My world had been turned upside down. And now it all makes sense. There is no way I would I have been able to move forward with all the things I had planned… I would have had to canceled refund and change dates and it would have been a fucking mess! I would have had to deal with shame and failure on top of everything else. Thank GOODNESS!
The reason I want to share this is because this has been an incredible reminder that I can't control everything and life is crazy. I would have saved myself a lot of frustration and anguish if I surrendered to what my body and my instincts were telling me before I got the news…. and the beauty is next time I will, because I know what it feels like now - The awareness is there.
And this entire process is helping me deepen into my next offering and offerings. By allowing myself to be able to surrender - to drop literally everything and take a time out for my recovery, I am giving you permission to do the same.
And while I am giving myself space it's amazing what is coming through - I can feel myself incubating and processing and deepening. I know that when I'm through this the new version of me that I have been waiting for will be ready to rise and fully step into her power. It truly is like Phoenix coming out of the ashes. This is the human experience. There is no getting around it- this is how it works. Sometimes in order to grow everything has to be set on fire, we have to break down and break open in order to build our new selves, better, and stronger than before. It is beautiful and it is painful. It is hard but it is great.
I'm grateful for all of it.
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