The Shedding

I can’t fully put into words the deep transformation I’ve experienced over the past few weeks.

And truly, “transformation” is the right word—but not entirely. I think shedding is more accurate. I’ve been letting go of old parts of myself… beliefs, wounds, patterns, ways of thinking and being. Old versions of me. It’s been an unbecoming. And now, finally, I feel like I’m beginning to scratch the surface of my core.

I’ve always known who I am and what I stand for—but this is different. This is deeper. Bigger than what my human self can fully understand. It still doesn’t all make sense, but there’s a knowing in my soul that I can no longer deny, hide from, or overlook.

It began with a very powerful healing session I felt called to receive—from a man, which is something I’ve never done before. The experience of being held in a safe, sacred space by a man—with no sexual tension or undertones—was incredibly healing. To be seen and treated simply as a human, not as a woman to be desired, was new for me. And it cracked something open. The healing session itself was powerful, but being held in that kind of safety was what truly blew me away.

I’ve been asking to heal my father wounds. My abandonment wounds. The parts of me shaped by circumstances I had no control over—deep scars still playing out in my subconscious. I know this experience was a big part of that healing. To be held in vulnerability, fully trusting, fully safe… I’ve never felt that before. It was beautiful.

That healing continued during my Alchemical Healing Level 2 course this past weekend. Another man was present—also a first. I’ve mostly been in healing spaces with women. But here he was, the only man among nine women, showing up to receive, to heal, to release the emotional burdens he’d been carrying. To watch him cry, to witness his courage, to see him step into the divine feminine within himself—it opened my heart wide.

To see him hold space, to feel his compassionate, loving presence—with no sexual energy attached—gave me so much reassurance. The men are doing the work too. They’re hearing the call, stepping into the sacred, and remembering who they are. It even gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, there’s a partner for me in this realm. Someone who can meet me here. I’m so grateful. It’s incredible to be receiving, feeling, and witnessing what I never had—and to realize I can receive it now. I am receiving it now.

And in that, I’m learning what true safety from the divine masculine feels like. What it means to be protected, held, seen as sacred. This is what I desire in partnership. And now that I’ve tasted it, I can’t go back to anything less. A new standard has been set.

Right now, I’m in cocoon mode. While everything around me is blooming, I’m in stillness. I feel a strong need to stay in my own energy, to be unavailable to others—and that’s more than okay. I’m protecting myself. I’m putting myself first. I’m listening and meeting myself exactly where I am—with no shame. No guilt. I am sacred. My energy is sacred. My heart is sacred. And it deserves to be prioritized.

A big part of my journey, I’m realizing, is about creating the love and support I never received. To mother and father myself. To offer myself the things I once searched for outside of me. Is it fair? Of course not. But it’s needed. And I believe it’s part of why I’m here—to learn this so I can teach it. To show others the way back to themselves.

Part of my purpose is to help restore balance—to bring us back into connection with the divine feminine. To guide others back to intuition, softness, nurturing, and the deep inner knowing we all carry. This is what the Earth needs. What humanity needs. To remember what’s been forgotten. To reconnect with our power, our wholeness, and our sacredness.

The time of separation is over. We’ve learned what we needed to from the old ways. Now it’s time to come back. To remember. To unify.

I feel changed—and yet the same. It’s like I’ve shed what was never truly me and returned to the truth of who I’ve always been. There’s a new level of self-respect here. A deeper honoring of my heart, my energy, my purpose. This is the biggest remembering I’ve ever experienced.

Definitely a leveling up.

And I’m proud of me.

I’ve worked so hard. I’ve faced every shadow since the moment I understood what healing really was. I’ve broken generational patterns, let go of so much, and walked through fires to get here. I’ve never stopped. Because I knew I didn’t want to repeat the path that’s brought humanity to this point.

I want to be my best self so I can help others return to truth, to harmony, to love, to peace.

And finally—I’m owning that.

What a ride.